I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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