Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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