Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
