Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
