Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
