Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
