I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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