I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
