You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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