so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm both gender and math confused
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
