Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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