I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
