I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
