You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
