At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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