How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
