Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
