i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
