And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
