How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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