Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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