I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
