Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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