I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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