I didn't shave. On purpose
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
