Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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