you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
