you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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