I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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