i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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