I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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