took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
