I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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