Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
