Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
