Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think I sprained my soul last night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
