I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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