Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We need to rekindle our bromance
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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