I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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