She is in my trunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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