Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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