Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
