this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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