do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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