this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
