i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
