The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
