But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
