he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
