I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
