Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
