the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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