There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
