I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
